I was thinking yesterday about an exercise that I was given one time to spend one day asking questions only (and not giving advice or any answers). I have to say that it was one of the most challenging activities I have been given. As a leadership consultant, I make a living by asking questions but when asked to live a day by only asking questions and being genuinely curious, this seemed to be a lot harder than I had thought it would be.

After one day of this activity, I realized how much I was missing out on. By not asking questions, I was missing some very important information from my family, friends and colleagues. The dialogue was so much richer and deeper through my curiosity.

In my work with leaders, I cannot help but notice that many don’t ask questions…they give advice and answers. Curiosity seems to be a leadership skill which is often forgotten (or it has never been considered by many to be a leadership skill in the first place), so it has me wondering “Why”?

As you read this blog entry, consider this question “What is it that causes you to want to give answers and advice and not ask questions?” and “How would your life as a leader be different if you invested 75% of your time asking questions and 25% of your time giving answers?” Send me a comment and let me know your thoughts.

Over the last three days I have been reading the galley copy of our book Edge in an effort to give it the final proof before printing, and I have to say that going through the journey of the book again reignited my passion for leadership. Epiphany after epiphany struck me, as I recognized all of the commonalities I had with our leading character, Mitch. What fascinates me most is that I am a different leader now than I was when we initially wrote the book. I have grown and now I face new challenges; so Mitch’s journey is hitting me differently this time through and inspiring me in new ways. I’m more excited than ever about the debriefs that Bea does at the end of each chapter and how they bring the story into context from a leadership perspective. They forced me, as I was reading, to ask myself some serious questions about my approach to leading Writers of the Round Table. Leading can be lonely. Leading can be brutal. Leading can be rewarding like little else. Thank you again Bea and Eva for going on this journey with me. My pride for what we created together overwhelms me. I am excited to watch the journey of this book as others begin to read it and benefit from our unique approach.

I was talking with a young woman yesterday who recently left a company after she was written up for “walking too fast”. She told me this, and I thought I had heard her incorrectly. I said “Can you say that again?” She then said “I just left XYZ Company, and a part of their culture is to walk slowly to reduce stress, and I was reprimanded for walking quickly”.

She then proceeded to tell me that she was hired to do a job for which she was highly skilled and then was actually assigned another job (70% of her day) and that the job she was assigned was one of her biggest weaknesses. She was given high marks on the 30% of her job for which she was highly skilled and low marks on the job that was her weakness (duh?). And, supposedly she told them upfront that this particular skill was not her job and, the company did they tell her that “walking slowly” was a part of the culture (this woman is very fast moving and highly energetic, and any person with a brain could see it a mile away).

Why is it that we continue to do this to people in our companies? I hear this constantly, yet many leaders don’t stop to consider the consequences of blindsiding people on the job. Leaders get employees quickly to fill a position, feed them a bunch of bull during the interview and then blame them when things go wrong! Come on! Stop it!

My question for today is “Are you leading in a blaming organization? Or are you working for one?”

If you are, some of the behaviors might include:

1) Shooting the messenger

2) Squelching employee’s opinions

3) Saying one thing and doing another

4) Passing the buck up or down when you encounter a mistake

5) Closed-mindedness to new ideas

6) Poor training (or you are providing training one time a year in a classroom thinking this will do the job)

I believe that we can change this blaming organization to an organization which thrives on responsibility, respect and support. We can all start by implementing these steps:

1) Deploying talent (putting people on the right job where they can thrive and succeed).

2) Shifting our language “he or she did it” to “I take full responsibility for this incident” (if you are a leader or a manager involved in an accident [notice I don’t use the word mistake], then you are ultimately responsible).

3) Listening and appreciating your employees’ opinions by saying “Thank-you for your idea. I will sleep on this.” Then, get back to them on your thoughts around their suggestion.

4) Under-promise and over-deliver. If you tell an employee they are being hired for a certain job, don’t give them another job or make promises you cannot keep.

5) When you get bad news, sit down, take a deep breath and stop talking! Just listen, take it in, step back and calmly thank the person for the news.

6) Start providing on the job training and coaching on a daily basis. The best way to stop the blame game is to train people well on each and every step of the process and then make yourself and them accountable to their success (yes…you are accountable for your followers’ success. If they don’t get it after great ongoing training and coaching, then it’s probably time for them to move on).

We encourage your comments on this subject.

I am reading the most fascinating book right now and feel compelled to share it with anyone I can. Considering some of the projects with which I’m involved and my role itself in this growing company (not to mention being a very busy mother of two sons), issues of leadership are frequently on my mind. The book I speak of is called The Same River Twice: Honoring the Difficult, by Alice Walker. Through essays, journal entries and her own never-used screenplay, she examines the years in her life before, during, and after writing the Pulitzer Prize winning The Color Purple...and then setting it off into the world. Once it was out there, the controversy began. Amidst an undercurrent–and sometimes a tempest–of misogyny and racism, she found the strength to persevere. The effect of this brilliant work of art reverberates all of these years later. On the surface, hers is not a story of leadership, per se, but I personally see the legacy of Walker’s work as a brilliant example of it. Taking a stand, believing in the truth of your message and repeating it again and again (whether you’re an artist or a business person or both), requires you to lead fearlessly. Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself…I’m only several chapters into it. I will post updates as I progress. In the meantime, if you get the chance to read this book, DO!

The article dates back to January of 2007, but it’s relevance is still quite strong:

Keeping Leadership and Research at Home

“Nine leaders offer their opinions on what the U.S. should do to hold onto its braintrust and stay on the cutting edge of innovation”

Even though the article discusses strategies specifically for the United States, the focus on education and continuing education is something that I find many seasoned leaders take for granted in their organizations.  There seems to be an assumption that people are “skilled enough” or that training offered one time a year will keep employees inspired and competitive.  Quite frankly, I don’t believe this position is going to get anyone very far into the future.  Ongoing education (both formal and informal) is not only going to be required for employees, employers are going to be asked to develop a first in class ongoing training and development program which keeps members of the organization one step ahead of the rest of the world.     This article shares some very cutting edge suggestions (Example:  “Open Source Education”).

As we move into the next 3-5 years, this article is a must read for any leader in any corner of the world.