People often describe themselves as “master networkers.” They attend gobs of events, pass out thousands of business cards and flit from group to group, doing everything they can to get people to buy from them. They spit out their elevator speech (which quite frankly, I can’t stand an elevator pitch…I can smell one a mile away,) often get confused in the delivering that boring speech, talk about themselves on and on and never stop to ask the other person “Tell me about you, and how can I help you succeed?”You see, I believe asking this question is the key to success with networking. Ivan Misner, Founder of BNI, firmly states that the “Givers Gain” philosophy is what networking is all about, and at the end of the day, we can give…yet…we can only give so much before we get drained. So, in theory it sounds great to have thousands of networking partners. In reality, I have found that a human being can only hold about 5-7 key networking partners in their brains at one time. So, if you are trying to truly network (the operative word is truly) with thousands of people, you are bound to lose connection with someone along the way. As a matter of fact, if you are trying to truly network with thousands of people, there are probably many who you will simply forget about over time.

Over the last ten years, I have done a great deal of networking. I don’t even want to add up the hours I have invested with this process. But, at the end of the day, networking is fun for me. I enjoy both online and face to face networking, but here’s my catch…I have to really enjoy the other person, respect their work and believe in them enough to tell others about them. I simply don’t get into networking relationships with people who I don’t like or don’t respect. Some people say I am just way to picky, and that is only one perspective. The people who know me quite well say that I am being authentic in building my network, and I would like to think that is true. You see, I believe that it’s frankly abusive to get into a networking relationship with someone you don’t respect enough to endorse their work, or to get into a networking relationship with someone just because you want them to give you a handout. And…if you are in one of those relationships, it is probably because you “hope” that this person in some way is going to help you along the way…and…it just doesn’t work that way. If you are going to be masterful with networking, you have to begin by helping the other person (trust me…most people won’t stop to ask you “How can I help you?” It’s up to you to play that card first!)

If you are starting your networking process, OR if you have come to the place in life where you know it’s time to perform a network upgrade, I encourage you to answer these questions in determining who you are going to bring into your close inner circle.

1) What qualities do you most admire in other professionals? Make a list of the ten qualities you most admire, and look for these qualities as you are networking. (I would place honesty, integrity and respect at the top of your list…otherwise, you may attract dishonest, disrespectful people who are not on the up and up!)

2) How can you help other people? Understanding your value and how you can help others is a requirement for successful networking. You may be able to bring a large group of people, fresh ideas or your talent and skills to the relationship. The bottom line is to get clear on your value and how it can make others’ lives more successful so that you can speak this with certainty.

3) How can other people help you? It is critical to understand that a networking relationship is about giving first and then receiving. Don’t ever get yourself into a networking relationship where you are the only person giving back to the relationship. Resentment will build over time if you are getting nothing back in return. Remember…your networking relationships should be partnerships…50/50 give and take…not a situation where you are doing all the work and getting nothing back in return. On the same note, I am big on helping other people out one time without any expectation of getting something back. If the relationship evolves to the point where you can get into an ongoing cycle of giving and receiving, then fabulous! Just know that you are probably going to do a few favors for folks who never do anything in return, and that’s okay…it’s part of the process.

4) How can your networking partners help each other? It is important to understand that once you build out a group of 5-7 key networking partners, they will be getting to know each other and helping each other out. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to become the “connector” to a larger network of like-minded individuals (the connecting thread is YOU!)

5) What are the red flags you want to avoid? I am sure you already know the answer to this one. You are going to meet people along the way who are needy, who want a hand out or who are only into networking as a way to take advantage of your value or to ask you to buy from them. Know the red flags ahead of time, and steer clear from those people. I believe that just like there is a man for every woman and a woman for every man, there are networking partners who were born for each other…they all are not designed just for you, so raise your bar on who you want to attract, then…go out and get ‘em, and have fun along the journey!

Pick up a copy of EDGE! A Leadership Story today

I recently got a surge of professional inspiration from just about the least likely source. A music producer friend of ours had been really inspired by the collaboration of bluegrass artist Alison Krauss and legendary rocker and Led Zeppelin front-man, Robert Plant. Our friend brought over a DVD copy of the CMT Crossroads show featuring their performances and interviews. My husband an I had heard a couple of the hit singles off of the groundbreaking album and liked it, but left it at that. Well, we watched the show and decided we liked what this unlikely duo was doing musically. Then came Plant’s interview. One of the first things he said was this: “It’s been such a learning curve to be part of something that’s not part of a masculine projection.”

What? The self-proclaimed Golden God of rock said that? Yes, he did. I was beyond intrigued. I was instantly smitten and set on learning more about this metamorphosis. Well, open yourself to synchronicity and you shall receive. We got a call the very next day from a friend offering us free tickets and backstage passes for the show. Needless to say we went and were blown away. The entire performance was, for me, a metaphor for the statement Plant had made during that interview.

There were clearly die-hard Led Zeppelin fans in the crowd. Easy to spot, they were screaming and yelling, just begging for the antithesis of what the collaboration with Krauss is all about. It was obvious that the “Golden God” is still quite capable of delivering that kind of performance; he simply chooses not to do so…at least not for now, not while sharing the stage with musicians and a producer (T-Bone Burnett) for whom he obviously has so much respect. While he spent plenty of time front-and-center, seeing him also stand in the background and sing perfect three-part harmony while Krauss took center stage spoke volumes about the inherent power, truth, and beauty in being part of a larger organic whole that delivers a message far beyond what you could ever deliver on your own, driven by ego…regardless of how creatively genius that ego may be.

So the inspiration? The lesson in this for me? I guess I would say this about it. It takes a lot of guts to let yourself change, to evolve, no matter who you are. When you are an icon–a leader–of any sort, though, I would imagine that it takes complete and utter faith in the process itself and in what you have to offer and absolute faith in the team in which you immerse yourself. What I take from this experience is that we all have the capacity to grow and change to bring to fruition untold impact on those who are watching our every move. And as a leader in any field, sometimes the most inspiring and powerful form of leadership comes in immersing yourself in your team or simply standing back and letting others shine.

Earlier in the month, I had the honor of interviewing my close friend and colleague, Alicia Smith, the DiSC Ninja about the use of the DiSC.  As always, Alicia provided a LOT of great value during this interview, so listen in below!

 Alicia: Download

I recently had the honor of being interviewed by Kris Knopp of MyLifeCompass.com on the topic of EDGE! A Leadership Story and the future of leadership.

You can access the interview below.  And…click on the COMPASS logo above to gain access to the wealth of resources made available to women through their amazing website!

 

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Article writing has been one of my most favorite tools, and Marnie Pehrson is the woman who showed me how to do this. She owns the most effective article marketing site on the internet: Idea Marketers.com. You don’t want to miss this special interview with Marnie to learn the ins and outs of article marketing. She’s AMAZING! She is also one of those people who gets a LOT done in a day. You can learn her secrets from her e-book: How to Get More Done in a Day Than Most Accomplish in A Week. And…if you have not started writing and submitting articles online, I encourage you to start it today with IdeaMarketers. Your visibility will triple in the process!

About Marnie:

Marnie Pehrson is a mother of six, the creator of nineteen web sites including the longest running article directory on the Web, IdeaMarketers.com, which contains over 310,000 articles and serves over 35,000 writers. Marnie’s also the author of 20 fiction and nonfiction titles. Whether she’s writing a novel that spotlights individuals who’ve made a difference in the world or helping a talented entrepreneur create a platform for his life’s work Marnie’s life is about underscoring truth and talent in innovative and compelling ways. You may visit her projects at www.pwgroup.com

 

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