I met with a man last week who told me that he “just wanted his team members to help him.”  I began to ask a few questions, and it became clear to me why this leader was so frustrated.  It had little to do with his personality…he was smart, charismatic and seemed to truly care.  But he seemed to be stumped when I asked him this question “What do you and your team agree that you all want?”   He fumbled around for a few answers and finally laughed and said “You know…I just don’t know how to answer that question.”

If you want your team to cooperate, there are these tiny things you can do to get people to help you, and here they are:

1) Go to your team members at least one time a week and ask “How can I help you?” By first offering help, you will set the tone for a reciprocal/helping relationship with your team.  As the top decision maker, it’s up to you to take the lead and model the process.

2) Discuss what you all agree that you want. This could be something for your company OR it could be free time to spend with your family members.  If you all agree you want some extra free time, you then need to set out on a mission…to be more productive.

3) Find a value you all hold as common. This is not as hard as you might think.  The best approach here is to come up with a list of 50 values, write each value on a sticky note, and have your team begin to move the sticky notes into sections of top priorities.  Once you land on 3 values that you all believe are important, you can design strategies to make sure that value is addressed.  Example:  If creativity is a big value, then of course, you are going to want to use highly creative approaches when asking for help.

4)  Discuss cause and effect. For every outcome, there is a process.  For every consequence, there is a cause.  Take a morning and discuss cause and effect.  Then, when you go to your team to ask for help, discuss the “why you need help.”  Talk about the cause and effect cycle of why you need help.

5) Incorporate “helping” rituals into your culture. This could be in the form of a day of civic work in your local community or one day each month focused on helping out everyone you see (hold the door open, help carry a box, jump in and give a hand without being asked.)  Rituals can ingrain a helping attitude into every fiber of your company.

In closing, if you are a leader who is frustrated and you need support in getting your team members to cooperate, call me at 910-692-6118 for a 15-minute discussion.  I would welcome the chance to brainstorm with you on the topic.